Dealing with Conflict – Practice Makes Perfect
Most people don't enjoy conflict. But in the business world, occasional conflict is a certainty. For the good of the company, leaders and peers hold each other accountable and engage in tough conversations when necessary. Since conflict is a foregone conclusion, the question isn’t how to avoid it, it’s how to make it as painless as possible. Here are a few tips:
1) Identify and practice the message before the conversation. Clearly identify the root of the issue and what you need to address with the person – this will help keep the conversation focused while you are under stress. If you have two main points to make, practice making those two points and consider the person’s likely response. Think about how you’ll bring the conversation back on track if it takes a different direction.
2) Be Specific. Don’t just tell the person what is bothering you, or what they’ve done wrong without any further explanation. Give them examples that back up your position.
3) Ask – Don’t Tell. Often times, conflict begins as a misunderstanding. Sometimes just asking a simple question can clear things up without the need for further discussion. If the conflict is deeper than that, questions can also be helpful to get the other person to consider another point of view, or to be empathetic.
4) Wrap it Up. End the conversation with a commitment on one or both sides, if possible. If an employee is consistently late, ask them if you can count on them to be on time going forward. If a due date is involved, make sure you clearly outline that. If their success hinges on something from you, commit to hold up your end of the agreement also.
While you may never get fully comfortable with conflict, the truth is that the more you practice the tips above and engage in healthy conflict when necessary, the less stressed you will feel in future conflict situations. Your conflict confidence will rise, and each time you engage you’ll get better at handling those tough situations. Also make sure that your corporate core values allow for good communication and don't create confrontations.
The Culture Counts blog is a discussion of law firm culture and legal innovation, including topics such as effective leadership, employee engagement, workplace culture, ideal work environment, company core values, and workplace productivity.
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